all right, who mailed me the spider????

[squamous]

Damn it there is seriously this giant scary spider living in my mail box. This is no good. I can't have it. It spins these heavy gray webs all over and crawls all over my mail. Tonight I saw it - just like last night in fact - go lumbering up over the mail and back into the mailbox. I tried flipping the mail out quickly in hopes of evicting it but it was too cunning. I can't have this I tell you, eventually it will get on me or I will accidentally bring it into my house, or it will lay eggs in my mail or something. Plus what happens once I get a postcard or something small that requires me to insert my hand into the mailbox? AAAAH!