![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
big fat liar
I am sitting at my old desk, where I worked at my last job in Chicago, killing time waiting for a friend to get done with work. Not sure when he'll be done but I am hoping he can get away early. I was gonna stay away from the LJ while out of town but, apparently I am a liar. And this is gonna be pretty boring too.
I got up at 4:30 this morning to go to the airport. Found my cable modem wasn't working, didn't really have time to fool around with it much, and also figured some maintenance could be going on. Hopefully it will be back online by the time I get home. The drive to the airport went OK... I liked it mainly when I first started out and it was dark out and there weren't many cars around. Once I got to Philadelphia it became way less fun. And then I saw the $7/day economy parking and there was no fun being had at all.
Flying... OK I know flying is amazing and a marvel and I am lucky to ever have access to a jet at all (even if it isn't the hoped for bomber or some sort of fighter jet) but... I dunno the whole flying experience, being jammed into the metal tube and flung through the sky with people all around me and no hope of escape just gets to me. I am a delicate flower after all. Hm so, this was not the best flying experience, so now I am really dreading the long round trip to Sacramento... and Orlando may be something of an ordeal as well considering I will be travelling with kids. Eh but I am lucky to be able to do this at all right? So I'll shut my whine-hole. Well on this topic anyway.
Got to my old office at Chicago... Blake had claimed my workspace as an auxiliary to his own, and now it is covered in miscellaneous network gear... actually it was about this bad when I was still working here. Damn close anyway. I found myself thinking, if I could come back to my old job, would I? Surprisingly I think I might... I am happy in New Jersey for the most part, but I guess I was about as happy here too... I just felt like to grow as a person I needed a change. Of course I have come to realize (again) about my biggest problem is the lack of discipline, so I am not sure why I couldn't fix that in Chicago vs. needing to upend everything (of course one could say the underlying problem with discipline is a lack of motivation... then trace that back to who knows what cluster of fundamental character flaws). Uh not that I don't feel lucky in my present circumstances, just I miss some things about the old situation. Actually some of the fun of the past few months has been meeting people in the livejournal world... meeting them online anyway.
Went to lunch at one of my favorite Chicago restaurants, The Olive Branch. Mmmm good. Not a "Zone" friendly lunch but I need my Olive Branch every now and then. Highly recommended. Have been hanging out with Blake this afternoon... good to see him. Sounds like the job here just sucks more and more, I am sorry for him he got stuck with it after I quit. Of course he's a million times better at it than I ever woulda been, but it's clear no one is really "driving" here so he is frustrated.
Boy it's weird to be back here, but I am a regular inarticulate particulate at the moment and couldn't express how exactly. It's just amazing to me how far this place has fallen, and also when I think of all the time I spent here and look back on the accumulated experience of 5-6 years around here. Part of my mind doesn't register the passing of time as an accumulation of age for me; I always think I am just on my first or second job out of college or something. It's weird. Although Mike's new thing is to keep referring to himself and those around his age (me included of course although I am about 18 months younger than him) as "middle aged". I guess I am probably at least halfway through life here so what can I say.
As soon as Mike P. is free - oh and I hope he is done early - we are gonna go to his house which should be a lot of fun. I miss his family. I am gonna hang out with them tonight and spend the night over there then tomorrow probably take the Metra back into the city and meet up with my friends Shawn and Brett. I feel like I should do something more ambitious than sit here and vegetate while waiting on Mike but I dunno when he'll be free, I have my luggage with me, and I am lazy. Plus not much in the immediate vicinity of the Merchandise Mart appeals to me. Hmmm I would like to get out of here though. There are people I would sooner not run into for one thing. Of course, I am uniquely gifted at making people not want to talk to me.
OK if I am gonna loiter in the old office should pay more attention to Blake....
I got up at 4:30 this morning to go to the airport. Found my cable modem wasn't working, didn't really have time to fool around with it much, and also figured some maintenance could be going on. Hopefully it will be back online by the time I get home. The drive to the airport went OK... I liked it mainly when I first started out and it was dark out and there weren't many cars around. Once I got to Philadelphia it became way less fun. And then I saw the $7/day economy parking and there was no fun being had at all.
Flying... OK I know flying is amazing and a marvel and I am lucky to ever have access to a jet at all (even if it isn't the hoped for bomber or some sort of fighter jet) but... I dunno the whole flying experience, being jammed into the metal tube and flung through the sky with people all around me and no hope of escape just gets to me. I am a delicate flower after all. Hm so, this was not the best flying experience, so now I am really dreading the long round trip to Sacramento... and Orlando may be something of an ordeal as well considering I will be travelling with kids. Eh but I am lucky to be able to do this at all right? So I'll shut my whine-hole. Well on this topic anyway.
Got to my old office at Chicago... Blake had claimed my workspace as an auxiliary to his own, and now it is covered in miscellaneous network gear... actually it was about this bad when I was still working here. Damn close anyway. I found myself thinking, if I could come back to my old job, would I? Surprisingly I think I might... I am happy in New Jersey for the most part, but I guess I was about as happy here too... I just felt like to grow as a person I needed a change. Of course I have come to realize (again) about my biggest problem is the lack of discipline, so I am not sure why I couldn't fix that in Chicago vs. needing to upend everything (of course one could say the underlying problem with discipline is a lack of motivation... then trace that back to who knows what cluster of fundamental character flaws). Uh not that I don't feel lucky in my present circumstances, just I miss some things about the old situation. Actually some of the fun of the past few months has been meeting people in the livejournal world... meeting them online anyway.
Went to lunch at one of my favorite Chicago restaurants, The Olive Branch. Mmmm good. Not a "Zone" friendly lunch but I need my Olive Branch every now and then. Highly recommended. Have been hanging out with Blake this afternoon... good to see him. Sounds like the job here just sucks more and more, I am sorry for him he got stuck with it after I quit. Of course he's a million times better at it than I ever woulda been, but it's clear no one is really "driving" here so he is frustrated.
Boy it's weird to be back here, but I am a regular inarticulate particulate at the moment and couldn't express how exactly. It's just amazing to me how far this place has fallen, and also when I think of all the time I spent here and look back on the accumulated experience of 5-6 years around here. Part of my mind doesn't register the passing of time as an accumulation of age for me; I always think I am just on my first or second job out of college or something. It's weird. Although Mike's new thing is to keep referring to himself and those around his age (me included of course although I am about 18 months younger than him) as "middle aged". I guess I am probably at least halfway through life here so what can I say.
As soon as Mike P. is free - oh and I hope he is done early - we are gonna go to his house which should be a lot of fun. I miss his family. I am gonna hang out with them tonight and spend the night over there then tomorrow probably take the Metra back into the city and meet up with my friends Shawn and Brett. I feel like I should do something more ambitious than sit here and vegetate while waiting on Mike but I dunno when he'll be free, I have my luggage with me, and I am lazy. Plus not much in the immediate vicinity of the Merchandise Mart appeals to me. Hmmm I would like to get out of here though. There are people I would sooner not run into for one thing. Of course, I am uniquely gifted at making people not want to talk to me.
OK if I am gonna loiter in the old office should pay more attention to Blake....