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Gah, a grumpy evening for me, for some reason. I had an odd start to the day, nothing dramatic, but I had a nightmare that woke me up kind of unsettled at 6 a.m., and I couldn't get back to sleep. The work day was OK at first. I am reasonably busy I guess but don't feel like I am working on anything that important. Like I'm not contributing enough, maybe.
I think what soured the mood ultimately was just a pervasive sense of fucked company as the day went on. There are days that feel OK (or mostly so), and there are days when the whole enterprise just seems doomed. Today was much more to the doomed case; lots of worry and foreboding. I can be more at peace with this some days than others. Today it got to me I think.
And I dunno, I'm frustrated or apprehensive about a couple other things. Me and my failings. Hopefully I can maintain a better outlook tomorrow.
Silly as it may sound another thing that I think was a bit of a downer tonight was reading about Travis the chimp before I left the office. Geez how awful. I have been afraid of chimpanzees since I read about the guy who got mauled by two of them in 2005. He lost I think an eye, most of his face, his fingers, a foot and his genitals. Pretty terrifying. I still like apes, I just don't want to be in the same room as one, other than a human. Now this poor lady in Connecticut, I read she lost her fingers and is disfigured. I couldn't listen to the 911 recording. Then I have to feel bad for the chimp himself. Doesn't seem like you can hold him responsible for freaking out, however out of control he got (although I accept that once he mauled someone, they had to put him down). He'd lived in what had to be such a strange situation for so long. Then again Cheeta is over 70 years old and has never attacked anyone, that I've heard of anyway. Eh it's just a sad world sometimes.
Bah to two more workdays to go this week. Tomorrow night I am supposed to play a game with some coworkers. Then sometime this weekend I think I am probably going to visit Mike C. and his kids, or, Mike invited me anyway. His wife is going to be at some church retreat thing. Catholic stuff.
I think what soured the mood ultimately was just a pervasive sense of fucked company as the day went on. There are days that feel OK (or mostly so), and there are days when the whole enterprise just seems doomed. Today was much more to the doomed case; lots of worry and foreboding. I can be more at peace with this some days than others. Today it got to me I think.
And I dunno, I'm frustrated or apprehensive about a couple other things. Me and my failings. Hopefully I can maintain a better outlook tomorrow.
Silly as it may sound another thing that I think was a bit of a downer tonight was reading about Travis the chimp before I left the office. Geez how awful. I have been afraid of chimpanzees since I read about the guy who got mauled by two of them in 2005. He lost I think an eye, most of his face, his fingers, a foot and his genitals. Pretty terrifying. I still like apes, I just don't want to be in the same room as one, other than a human. Now this poor lady in Connecticut, I read she lost her fingers and is disfigured. I couldn't listen to the 911 recording. Then I have to feel bad for the chimp himself. Doesn't seem like you can hold him responsible for freaking out, however out of control he got (although I accept that once he mauled someone, they had to put him down). He'd lived in what had to be such a strange situation for so long. Then again Cheeta is over 70 years old and has never attacked anyone, that I've heard of anyway. Eh it's just a sad world sometimes.
Bah to two more workdays to go this week. Tomorrow night I am supposed to play a game with some coworkers. Then sometime this weekend I think I am probably going to visit Mike C. and his kids, or, Mike invited me anyway. His wife is going to be at some church retreat thing. Catholic stuff.
